Intimate Relationships & Marriage
However, our fear of intimacy is often triggered by positive emotions even more than negative ones. In fact, being chosen by someone we truly care for and experiencing their loving feelings can often arouse deep-seated fears of intimacy and make it difficult to maintain a close relationship. The problem is that the positive way a lover sees us often conflicts with the negative ways we view ourselves. Sadly, we hold on to our negative self-attitudes and are resistant to being seen differently. Because it is difficult for us to allow the reality of being loved to affect our basic image of ourselves, we often build up a resistance to love. These negative core beliefs are based on deep-seated feelings that we developed in early childhood of being essentially bad, unlovable or deficient. While these attitudes may be painful or unpleasant, at the same time they are familiar to us, and we are used to them lingering in our subconscious. As adults, we mistakenly assume that these beliefs are fundamental and therefore impossible to correct. Instead, during times of closeness and intimacy, we react with behaviors that create tension in the relationship and push our loved one away.
A few chalk it up to evolved differences, a slow growing apart, or absolute familiarity. With researchers estimating that percent of married individuals in the Amalgamate States will have an affair by some point in their relationship, it may be time to really analyse what causes our affections to decline. What prompts the shift from dependent love to deep disinterest? What turns our heart-racing enthusiasm for another person to boredom and dissatisfaction? The affirm of physical closeness and emotional distance is what characterizes a fantasy acquaintance.
Around might be love. There might be commitment. There might be a concrete friendship at its core. Worth it — but hard. Desire feeds animal intimacy which in turn feeds association, nurturance and the protective guard about relationships. Intimate relationships in which appeal has faded can take on the shape of housemates or colleagues.
Reawaken passion in your marriage. Jason after that Kendra have been married for 12 years and have three children. But, over the last few years, their sex life has dwindled and they rarely spend time together without their children. Kendra seeks out Jason designed for sexual intimacy and Jason often pulls away. According to experts, the a good number common reason couples lose their anger for each other and stop body sexually intimate is a pursuer-distancer archetype that develops over time. A able sexual relationship is built on affecting intimacy and closeness.
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