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People have very complicated feelings about pornographyand the stakes can feel even higher when you put two or more people together in a romantic relationship who may have different feelings on the issue. These differences might be particularly stark in heterosexual partnerships because of the distinct ways men and women tend to be taught to view and relate to their sexuality. First, here are some stats: Men are more likely to consume porn than women are, although both definitely do it. One study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found women watch porn about twice a month whereas men watch about three times a week on average. However, an earlier survey found one in three women reported watching porn every week. Plus, a decade of PornHub data released in also found that women watch porn for longer periods of time in comparison to men by a ratio of about While we can spend a lot of time unpacking why men might be more drawn to porn—namely, because the dominant version of masculinity is hypersexualized and young boys grow up learning that an overwhelming interest in sex is a necessary part of being a man, since porn is part of the culture of young teen boyhood, whereas young women are largely not encouraged to masturbate, let alone, tell anyone about it. Some people strongly believe that watching porn constitutes cheating and creates impossible standards for real-life partners to keep up with, which can lead to sexual dissatisfaction. To get a clearer picture of the concerns at hand, I reached out to women and men in relationships to hear their feelings about their partner watching porn.

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